The Psychology of ‘Enough’: Redefine Success Through Your Own Values

Paul K. Fain, III, CFP^®

For many of us, the question “How much is enough?” is less about math and more about mindset. From the outside, it might look like someone has “made it” – a strong income, a beautiful home, a growing investment portfolio. But inside, that same person may still feel stretched, anxious, or oddly … behind.

As a financial planner, I have seen people with $50,000 in the bank and people with $5 million struggle with the same quiet anxiety: Am I doing enough? Do I have enough? What if it is not enough tomorrow? The pursuit of more can become a treadmill, not a destination. And sometimes, the real work is not optimizing your portfolio – it is defining your version of enough and learning how to live within it.

What is going on here? Behavioral finance offers some clues. One concept is relative deprivation – the feeling that you are worse off than others, even when you have plenty by objective standards. In a world of LinkedIn promotions and Instagram vacations, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. And in that race, someone is always ahead. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. It also can be the fuel for financial anxiety.

Then there’s lifestyle creep – the tendency to increase spending as income rises. A big bonus leads to a car upgrade. Later comes a house renovation. Vacations get longer and more luxurious. None of this feels extravagant at the time, but it all adds up, and each upgrade becomes the new normal. We start looking toward the next thing, convinced it will finally bring lasting satisfaction. That dream kitchen? Delightful for a month. The European getaway? Wonderful, until the credit card bill arrives.

The truth is, the finish line keeps moving – not because we don’t have enough, but because we haven’t defined what “enough” actually means.

So what is the antidote? Start by redefining success – not through external benchmarks (like job titles, square footage, or someone else’s portfolio), but through your own values. Ask yourself: What do I want my money to do for me? What does a “rich life” look like beyond the dollar amount? For some, it might mean more time with family; for others, the freedom to travel, volunteer or work less. Tools like a values-based spending plan can help align your finances with what matters most; spend more on what brings real joy and less on what doesn’t. Try a contentment audit: look at your current lifestyle and ask, Does this bring me peace or just pressure? When you start answering those questions honestly, you may discover you are already wealthier than you think.

Consider creating your personal “enough” number, the amount you truly need to live the life you value, with room for joy and security. Set finish lines for specific goals, whether that’s retirement savings, housing or your child’s college fund, so you don’t keep moving the target.

Of course, every decision involves trade-offs – security versus freedom, work versus time. The goal is not to eliminate these tensions but to manage them wisely, in a way that reflects your priorities. When you stop chasing someone else’s version of success, you can start building a life that actually feels successful. Because once you know what “enough” is, you can stop chasing more and start living on purpose.

This article originally appeared in the Knoxville News Sentinel online on May 16, 2025.