Financial Advice for My Newly Married Son and My Other Children
Paul K. Fain, III, CFP®
Our legacies are so much more than money.
One of my sons recently got married. It was a beautiful event, and it got me reflecting on my own experiences when I was in my thirties.
At that age, as a young husband, father and budding financial planner, did I make good decisions? Had I been an idiot?
When I was in my thirties, I was already fatherless. Did I miss out on decades of financial wisdom and guidance from my dad? I am sure I missed a lot, especially the in-the-moment counseling and mentoring. Subsequently, while I am walking this earth, I am trying to be intentional about imparting to my children what I have learned in 63 years — good and bad; success and failure.
For example, we (mostly my spouse) have had a good eye for real estate, investing in homes and several rental and land holdings. We have been blessed with patience as we have ridden the stock market roller coaster — buying on the dips, taking some profits near the peaks. We have used debt responsibly and been good savers.
On the other hand, I have been too conservative, generally avoiding risk, even when opportunities have presented themselves. I have made some bone-headed purchases in the past, made worse because I did not discuss them with my spouse. As a career-long CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® professional, I could have done a much better job at instructing my children about money. Well, time to catch up! Here is what I will share with our newlyweds (and my other children):
- Money is a tool, not a goal. Money enables us to pursue life goals such as buying a house and helping our children attend college. It is a tool to build financial security and to plan for financial freedom and independence.
- Live below your means, always. Budgeting is the bedrock of financial peace. Consider a cash management philosophy centered on “learn, earn, yearn” — use money to acquire knowledge, to achieve financial stability, and to cultivate a desire for something greater than oneself.
- Use debt for strategic purposes, not to support your lifestyle. “Good debt” potentially increases your net worth or generates income over time. Examples include a home mortgage, student loans, and business loans.
- Time is your greatest asset. Leverage the power of compounding growth. Start investing now, even if the amount is small.
- Avoid lifestyle inflation. Wealth is built quietly, not through outward signs (clothes, cars, homes). Read the classic “The Millionaire Next Door” by Dr. Thomas Stanley.
- Health is wealth. After the invincible teens and twenties, get serious about wellness: exercise, nutrition, rest, weight and stress management.
- Do not be afraid to fail. “Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures,” writes best-selling author Mark Manson.
- Communicate. In families, foster transparency, set financial goals together, negotiate priorities, and set and honor boundaries.
There is so much more that I want to share with my ever-growing children. Fortunately, the opportunities are almost limitless from the moment they are born to the present, including tomorrow.
When my (now married) son was about 5 years old, I was tossing him wiffle balls to practice his Little League batting skills. I asked him if he was ready for a pitch, and he replied, “I was born ready, Dad!” Indeed.
This article originally appeared in the Knoxville News Sentinel online on July 18, 2025.
